You can’t have a testimony without a test and, as I always used to say, “Lord, why is my life so hard?” My journey in life hasn’t been easy, but it has been BLESSED! I learned in my living, that God’s greatest soldiers have the greatest testimonies, with some challenging tests.
Growing up, I always felt rejected, I never felt like I quite fit in anywhere. I battled with parental acceptance and unconditional love. I didn’t know who my biological father was and was told a deceased man was actually my father all my life. His family accepted and loved me. Then, at 14 years old, I discovered this was false, and I found out who my biological father was. This was one of my greatest moments of rejection that I can remember. This is what led me to Christ. I wanted to fit in somewhere. I wanted to feel accepted. Despite the love I had around me, the spirit of rejection was attacking me, so I ran to Jesus. Psalm 27:10 plays in my heart every time I think of the moment that I gave myself to Christ at age 14. It wasn’t easy to give my life to Christ and I was far from perfect.
When I was in my early 20s, I discovered I was pregnant and my whole world felt like it shifted for the worse. I felt completely alone and my family was disappointed, which led to their rejection of my circumstance. Ultimately, their lack of acceptance of my situation, caused them to reject me. I found myself 4 months pregnant, crying in my car and only having one meal a day; one double cheeseburger from McDonald’s. I didn’t have the money to even feed myself, but due to my perseverance, and will to continue with my undergraduate studies full-time, it limited the public assistance I could achieve. I was made to feel like a walking disappointment. I felt like I had no one except God.
I found Tera Carissa’s ministry in 2012. At that time, I was homeless, sleeping on an air mattress at someone else’s home. I kept my items in a storage shed and clothes for that season in the trunk of my car. Through sowing into and following Tera Carissa’s ministry, I was drawn to go onto a fast. I went on a three day fast with no food and in three days I received a job, car and house! In only six months, my whole life turned for the better. I finished my undergraduate degree, despite others saying I wouldn’t be anything, and moved forward with completing my graduate degree with my daughter in tow!
My life didn’t stop there. My own procrastinating actions caused me to lose my provisional practicing license as a therapist. I failed my state board exam, but within two weeks of losing my license, God favored me. I passed the exam and never lost my job! From there I went through a season of depression because, during that stressful time I suffered a miscarriage, lost my grandmother and so much unwarranted public humiliation from others. I was trying my best to walk with my head up, but I felt like I failed at life. Although I never lost anything, nor was I demoted, a demonic spirit kept telling me I was a failure, but it wasn’t true! I was, and I am, victorious.
Despite battling depression I opened my own business and self-published my own book. When I published my book, something broke. A sense of freedom overtook me. I felt the depression lift off of me. That is when I published my second book - a book that was my story of finally walking into who God says I am.
When others see me, they see a wife, mother, entrepreneur and therapist, but spiritually you see a victorious overcomer! I am victorious! I went from being homeless to a homeowner, rejected to revered and worthless to worthy in a matter of 7 years. Now, at 29 years old, I stand before you a strong and healed Black woman. My journey is far from over, but I’m much closer to my destiny. The devil tried to make me settle. I encourage you to never settle. Just pray and boss up!!!
Whitney Smith-Johnson