You may have noticed or you may have heard, I was born different!
In the book, Daring Greatly, Brene Brown says “It’s not an easy journey from excruciating to exquisite, but for me it’s been worth every step.”
I would like to take a few moments to share with you my journey from excruciating to exquisite.
I was born and raised in the small town of Clinton, South Carolina, grew up in church, and had a wonderful family life. You may think that doesn’t sound like a very excruciating beginning? The truth is, everything looked good on the surface and in many ways they were. However, there was a “behind the scenes” going on in my life. The enemy, Satan, started at a very early age with me. I was being sexually preyed upon and molested by not one, but two male predators. I had no clue how this would affect EVERY aspect of my life!
Fast forward to my twenties and thirties, I was experiencing incredible career success. I was living in New York City, the concrete jungle where dreams are made of, and I was living my dream in many aspects. I was a Celebrity Makeup Artist on National TV in front of 100 million homes on QVC,I booked gigs from the US to the UK, but the “behind the scenes” told a different story. The lyrics, “if I can make it there I can make it anywhere” took on a whole new meaning for me.
The childhood trauma I experienced manifested in my life in the form of sexual sin and outright sexual addiction. The person I was showing everyone was not even close to who I was behind the scenes. YET in that darkness, I kept hold of my faith and I could hear the soft whisper of God saying “your inner man must equal your outer man if you want to fulfill the call on your life”. During this time, God placed a Spiritual Mentor in my life who would not allow me to stay where I was. She spoke the truth to me, in love. We began a Bible Study together that radically changed my life. In my diligent pursuit of God, He revealed to me that I wasn’t born any other way than DIFFERENT!
To this day I accept no label from the world. The one and only label I will accept is CHILD OF GOD! I’m set free because I made up my mind to truly deny myself and follow HIM, and THAT is a day by day process. The closer I got to Christ, and the more I fell in love with The Holy Spirit’s guidance in my life, I also began to see what had been important to me. The career success, living in Manhattan, traveling the world... that wasn’t what was important to God. As He began to speak to me profoundly, I began to see that He was calling me back to the Carolinas to be closer to family. Ultimately revealing to me that success to God was becoming Primary Caregiver to my late father and now to my precious mother. You see, I have been a priority to my parents their entire lives, especially when I was young, so it only made sense that they become number one priority at this season in my life. Our vision of success many times is different from God’s vision of success.
Knowing I had a “behind the scenes” in my life, God gave me the vision for Bible Study Behind the Scenes. I believe if we are honest, we all have a BTS in our lives. With that said, I created what I believe is Bible Study - REDEFINED. A study in a completely safe atmosphere that facilitates small groups and accountability relationships where we can confess our faults one to another and be free of them, all while studying what it means to MARVEL at The AWESOMENESS of JESUS and what it truly means to deny ourselves and follow Him.
In closing, I simply say this… God gets ALL the HONOR, GLORY and PRAISE!
Bible Study Behind the Scenes is now celebrating one year since conception. Look at God! In the Fall of 2020, I stepped into the next phase of His call on my life. Stay tuned for “Everyday Sunday” - Church REDEFINED!