Where to start? What I want you to get from me sharing a piece of my life is to, literally, do what Proverbs 3: 5 and 6 says, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not unto your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your path.” I stand on that verse because life happens to us all and I have learned during every difficult time in my life, to really trust God. I believe that is the rainbow at the end of the mess - our faith becoming stronger. Got it? Perfect, let’s get to it.
I grew up in a beautiful family, with a perfect childhood. My parents did a fabulous job raising us and did what they needed to do to make sure we lacked nothing. My father is a pastor, and my mom is an educator. They taught us what most Christian parents do, including don’t have sex until you are married. Well, I didn’t listen and found myself pregnant by my first real boyfriend, and the first guy I had sex with.
He was a hot mess, so I broke up with him, but I was still carrying our child. I thought to myself, you can’t have a baby. Your dad’s a pastor, your parents have given you everything and if they find out they are going to be devastated, disappointed and then they are going to kill you. This is what the enemy played over and over in my mind. I thought, ok, well I can’t allow that to happen, so I am going to get an abortion. Long story short, I went to the clinic to get the procedure, and they told me I had to come back another day because I was not far enough along. “Fine.” I said, “When can I come back?” They gave me a date.
I told my daughter’s father the cost, and when I needed to have the money. The day came and as I was about to head to the clinic, I called for him to meet me with the money and he told me he didn’t have it. I wanted to cuss him out! I called the clinic back and told them I didn’t have the money and I needed to reschedule. At this point they were like our next appointment is on the 11th and you must have it then because you will be too far along if you don’t. That day was my BIRTHDAY. I was doing everything opposite of Proverbs. I SCHEDULED TO HAVE AN ABORTION ON MY BIRTHDAY because I was not trusting God and was making decisions in fear. My birthday came and I had the money, but I didn’t have a ride. The only 2 people who knew what I was trying to do were not available to take me so I had to make a decision.
I went on a double date with my girlfriend one evening just to take my mind off of things. She and I were in the bathroom and I heard God say, “Do not abort your baby, that’s your little girl.” I asked my friend if she heard that and God said it again, “Do not abort the baby, that’s your little girl.” I began to weep. I somehow found the courage to tell my parents. They loved me through the entire process and never said anything negative to me about the situation even to this day. All my mom said was, “You are not the first and you won’t be the last.” She told me I must still go on with my life, go to college, finish and become everything God called me to be and that’s exactly what I did, and will continue to do.
Today my daughter and I are published authors and so much more. I learned, after that experience, to trust in the lord with all my heart and lean not unto my own understanding. In all my ways acknowledge Him and He will continue to direct my path. He will do the same thing for you.
Love, Ja`el The Great